I cheated. Well kinda...

Well let me say that I didnt give up , nor did I throw it all away and binge out! No ma'am!  I had a busy day preparing a surprise party for my daughter and I was good. This evening after all the guests left I was craving potato chips (very odd for me) which I hardly ever eat. Im more of a baked goods girl!  But I think to follow dinner I needed a little salty something.  So I had about a handful of chips. Im not entirely mad because I didnt eat the whole bag like I could have , but I should have had saltine crackers instead. All the saltiness less fattening.  However all this was before 9pm so in my book its all good! This wont become a daily habit!!!  I dont feel like I have lost it anything.  I think it goes along with my plan of eating what you want just in moderation!  I have seen the amount I eat gradually decrease and I feel fuller sooner. I sometimes have to remind myself that I dont have to finish my plate! Im not gonna starve!!! So in other news im down another 1 1/2 lbs. Been walking longer and I had a busy weekend prepping for the party so I got alot of exercise in (so to speak)!  Feeling pretty good tonight!  Happy mommy signing out! ♥

New month new me!

Well I am happy its August 1! I know most parents cant wait for school to start, but im pacing myself with that excitement since I homeschool! I enjoy having my kids with me almost always! After all thats why I had children! !! I say almost because we all have those "calgon take me away " kinda moments!!!  So im enjoying this summer alot!!! Im slowing down to smell the roses and enjoy every day! So today was one those days! Walked with my kids and we went a little longer than usual and they were worn out and I was ready to keep going lol!!  I believe I experienced one of those rhythm things today like runners do only me walking of course! Felt pretty awesome!!! I have never enjoyed any type of exercise ,but I'm loving this walking thing!!!!  Lost another pound since I posted last! I feel invincible tonight! I do know however that tomorrow that may change and I could cave into temptation at anytime! So I close with a smile and a pat on my back! Toot toot! Love ♥

Well ive been amiss for awhile. Im still going on , but not as strong. Ive kinda shifted gears and have been focusing  a lot  on my kids. My weight loss has slowed down due to lack of exercise. Im ok with that. I havent gained back anything and im still eating according to my plan.  Some days are definitely harder than others,  but I keep reminding myself that I dont want to "be here" this time next year! Like I feel sitting here this year knowing how I felt this way last year and gave in and here we are again! So im going day by day. Trying to redirect my focus when I feel like giving in! And a big thing is not thinking about when I eat , what im  gonna have etc.... That bunny trails me into trouble and then uh oh!!! ♥

Ok so I had a good night food wise. I had a good walk too , but the scale says I gained 1lb?! Well im trying to chuck it up as water distribution theory.  Its not helping my psyche though! !! Im feeling defeated!  I know its only 1lb , but with all im dealing with right now its overloading me!!! I didnt sleep well last night my anxiety level is high too! Im feeling today maybe a resting day when all the kiddos and down.

Well another day done  and I definitely wore myself out yesterday!! Today I am tired! So I didnt walk tonight and I do feel terribly guilty! However when I weighed in this morning I  already at my  goal for this Friday!  Yep 10lbs down already! !!  I feel great about that however I didnt expect to feel guilty about not walking!

Hell hath no fury like a mad mama bear!

Well its been a few days and Ive been busy dealing with juvenille delinquency in my neighborhood! On a good note Ive still been losing weight! Im looking forward to my daily walks now. Its my escape and destress zone!!! I wasnt able to walk for a few days due to home issues and weather and boy did I miss it! I made up for it tonight!  I did my usual , but was amazed how much faster I have gotten time wise.  Im officially down 11lbs now , but im feeling the results with my clothes already!  I m actually looking forward to going shopping for new clothes when I hit my first goal of 40lbs!!!! And if you are fat like me you dont like to clothes shop because it only reminds you of how big  you are! So onwards and downwards(Down for weight)! Lols!!!

No more for me!

Well I had an amazing day. Got alot of cleaning done. Wasnt planning on it howeve I seem to find myself watching the clock here waiting  for 7pm. Why? Well we are afternoon people so 7 is when I start dinner usually.  So then I know at 8 I go walking. Its summer here and hot as heck and I have found 8 is perfect.  Heat is off and limited sun is left. Only issue is bugs. I do use lots of bugspray infact we all spray ourselves down. I walk with my kids. I figure it helps them as well. I am however the only one eating differently. Just felt the need to clarify that. I dont know why. Lol. I encourage them to make good food choices as well, but I'm no tiger mom! So todays walk was a bust  only 15 minutes (been doing 40). My oldest and youngest decided not to cooperate! At least I got 15. Whoo hoo! I figure though with the anount of cleaning I did it will balance out. Lol. I keep reminding myself its a marathon not a sprint race! Making my long term goal is more important than pushing myself and failing!  So dinner was a success im also teaching my kids to cook so my one child grilled (completely supervised) dinner. Again the body factor kicking in and I cant eat as much as before! Not hungry tonight =no struggle and looking forward to tomorrow! ♥

Have my brownie and eat it too!

Well after the struggle last night I have to say it was worth the fight! Down 1 1/2 lbs from yesterday and proud of myself! Brownies are so my weakness not to mention they are the worst thing you can eat! And since im the best brownie maker in my family it doesnt help. :(   So im sitting here indulging and im realizing how sickening sweet they are. Its only been two weeks and my body is telling me how little I need to consume it seems. Well I guess its a good thing right!? ♥

So hungry tonight!

Well I wont bore you with my life story, but to put it past just another dieter story here we go... I am ashamed of what I have allowed myself to become and I was reminded brutally a few weeks ago. So after doing alot of thinking ... alot of thinking.  I decided to have another go at (im not calling it a d*** due to the automatic negative thoughts and starving feelings associated with that word.) My new life! After all the d word implies a temporary fix where as im looking at a lifetime keep the weight manageable kind of thing! So im puting a few plans together and making my own solution!  First part is the best #1 I can ear whatever and how much I want only catch is once a day. #2 I can only eat when I am truly hungry not  just bored. Ok so I know you are thinking this is extreme,  but I have a bmi of 41 so once a day is working for me. Ultimately every diet reduces your food intake (unless you are one ofthe lucky ones who can eat 6times a day with a high metabolism). How do you know you are truly hungry you ask? Well dont eat untill you get that grumble in the tummy. Other wise if you arent sure when you feel hungry test it . Drink a little juice and wait 20  to 30 minutes. If the juice trick doesnt help then you are hungry. The juice  helps  to raise your blood sugar and help fight hunger. Ok rule #3 drink lots of water. #4 exercise.  Pretty simple for me to follow.   Well I have been following this regime for 2 weeks and now im happy to report im down 7.5 lbs. Like I said life change.  Not quick success. Tonight I was looking forward to dinner as that is the time I eat. With my family and it doesnt arouse any suspicions. So I made chicken salads. Well I shared my chicken and by the time I got to eat not much was left so I ate all I had on my plate. Which lately I haven't been able to finish my plate and I can tell my body is adjusting to eating less. So I thought I would be fine. Well its almost  midnight here and my stomachs grumbling! But im gonna behave and not eay any brownies I made earlier today! I will wait for morning and have some then!  Will power maybe or just knowing if I give up now I will never rise above this!  So I lay here typing away trying to think of all the positive things to making my goal. Which is 120lbs! Half of me now! Weight has always been a issue and when I was 19 I beat this beast and lost 70lbs and felt great. However with all that has happened since I have fallen again and am rising up once more!  Looking to be a new me! ♥